Copyright 1999 --- Robert Baer Jr.  Revised - 2000.

The Renegade Files - "The Green-Eyed Monster"

PROLOGUE

This is the story of a superhero, The Computer Renegade, as told through
the eyes of his faithful bionic German Shepard Otto.  Disguised as
Accountant Nathan Lovejoy, the Renegade and his friends fight a never
ending battle against crime, injustice and danger.   This is yet another
entry from Otto's 'personal' log.

The Renegade Files -- "The Green-Eyed Monster" 

It was a bright, sunny Friday afternoon.  My wife and I were taking a
nature walk with the Computer Dinosaur and his finacee Dree-'el.  Also
with us were our friends Starlight, the Computer Gila Monster and Xeren
Zzoom.  

"Whoa, at last, Thanksgiving Break!" Samantha said excitely,"Dree-'el,
ma'am, what do you think of college so far?"

"It is quite a challenge, I must admit!" Dree-'el said with a smile.

"The course work?" I asked.

"No," Dree-'el answered,"I was talking about attending classes as a
Dinosaur!   Most of the time I have to put my long neck through a window
so I can hear the professor's lectures!"

"That must be some strange college that you and Sam are attending!" Xeren
said,"sounds more exciting than the one I'm attending!"

"Sorry, Xeren, sir," Samantha said sadly,"there's no humans allowed at our
college."

"I gots to admit it's really fun to work there!" the Gila Monster said as
he swung his 2 x 4 over his head,"just last week I got to break up a
fight!"

"I remember that," Dree-'el said with a giggle,"those three snakes were
teasing Peter Delmar again, threatening to eat him if he wouldn't do their
homework for them!"

"Yeah, one of them jokers even bit me!" the Gila chuckled,"good thing I
ain't affected by their venom!  I didn't even have to smack them with my 2
x 4!  I just grabbed all three of them by their heads and dragged them to
the dean's office."

"If these downloaded school records are correct," I added,"those three
snakes were expelled!  It's against school policy to consume fellow
students!"

"That's the same reason Romulas and Remus were expelled too!" the Dinosaur 
added.

"That's a good policy!" Xeren said with a smile.

"CD, Dree-'el," Starlight asked,"have you gotten all of your wedding plans
together?"

"Well," the Computer Dinosaur said,"we e-mailed all the invitations,
called the caterer, rented the amphitheater just outside of town...."

"What about contacting a minister to perform the wedding?" I suggested.

"I KNEW I FORGOT SOMETHING!" the Dinosaur said in panic,"Gee Whiz.... who
are we going to get?"

As our group pondered this question, a huge shadow descended over us,
followed by a near earthquake as two very familiar looking pterodactyles
landed in front of us.

"Romulas and Remus!" the Dinosaur growled,"what are YOU goons doing here?  
Your parents cut off your allowance .... AGAIN?"

"SHUT UP!" Romulas squawked,"I heard that you and this long necked tramp were 
getting married!   WHAT A JOKE!"

"YEAH!  JOKE!" Remus added.

"Why are you two so opposed to the big guy getting re-married?"  I
asked,"there seems to be no logical reason why..."

"STAY OUT OF THIS, MUTT!" Romulas snapped.

"YEAH, STAY OUT OF THIS, MUTT!" Remus added.

"Sounds like we have an echo in the hills!" the Gila Monster laughed.

"DON'T YOU TALK TO MY HUSBAND LIKE THAT, YOU OVERGROWN CANARY!" Samantha 
yelled.

"And what are you going to do about it, you poor excuse for a collie!"
Romulas snickered.

"THIS!" Samantha shouted as she used her collar to make the two pterodactyle
brothers float in the air, turned them upside down, and let them land on 
their heads.

"Nice work, Sam!" the Gila Monster laughed,"I could've done it better
myself!"

"SAM!" I shouted,"you really shouldn't have done that...."

"Relax, Otto!" the Gila interrupted,"they ain't hurt, it's not like they has
a brain or anything!"

The huge pterodactyles rolled over and back on their feet.

"THAT DOES IT!  WE'LL EAT ALL OF YOU LITTLE TWERPS AND THEN BEAT THE LIVING
DAYLIGHTS OUT OF YOU, CD!"  Romulas bellowed.

"YEAH, DAYLIGHTS!" Remus added.

"There's that echo again!" Xeren laughed.

"You can't marry Dree-'el!" Romulas shouted,"because I want to marry her!"

"Excuse me?" Dree-'el said with a confused look on her face.

"I do have feeling for you," Romulas admitted,"everytime I see you, I really 
want to hug and kiss you!

"And everytime I see you and that stupid twin brother of yours,"  Dree-'el 
explained,"I feel like throwing up!"

"Me too!" the Dinosaur added,"You two are just trying to break me and Dree-'el 
up, but it won't work!  I'm marrying her and that's that!" 

"Well......" Romulas stuttered,"not if we have anything to say about it!" 

"Yeah, not if we have anything to say about it!" Remus added. 

"We don't need it in stereo, junior!" the Gila Monster growled.

"Junior?  Are you talking to me, you pint sized lizard man?"  Remus roared.

"If the shoes fits, kick yourself with it!" the Gila replied. 

"I don't wear shoes, I have claws you stupid green bean!" Remus shouted. 

Remus opened his beak and reached down to try and bite the Gila Monster.  The 
Gila takes his 2 x 4 and smacks Remus on the head so hard, the huge 
pterodactyle gets dizzy and falls down.

"HEY!  YOU CAN'T DO THAT TO MY BROTHER!" Romulas yelled. 

"I just did, you flying gooberoo!" the Gila Monster replied,"Wanna make 
something of it?"  

"YES!" Romulas screamed as he too tried to grab the Gila Monster in his huge 
beak.  This time, the Gila jumps into the air as he clubs the startled 
pterodactyle brother on his head.  Romulas staggers around a little and then 
falls to the ground near his unconscience twin brother. 

"Take that, you two clowns!" Xeren shouted in glee. 

"Was that really neccessary?" the Dinosaur asked.   

"Hey, I'm a peace officer on this campus!" the Gila Monster answered,"and I 
gave those two idgets a 'piece' of my 2 x 4!  What's wrong with that?"

"Shall I zap them to a holding facility?" I asked.

"No," the Gila Monster said sadly, "we ain't got no place big enough to hold 
them!  But you could send'm back to their nest!" 

"Consider it done!" I shouted as I activated my internal circuitry and make the
two misguilded pterodactyles disappear with a loud BOOM!!!!!! 

"Goodbye, and good ridence!"  Dree-'el said sadly.

"Darling, what's wrong?" the Dinosaur asked his future bride. 

"I can't believe those two!" Dree-'el said angerly,"That Romulas has a lot of 
nerve saying he was in love with me!  I'd rather drink hot lava then go 
anywhere with those two Beavis and Butthead wannabes!"

"I would have to agree with you, Dree-'el, ma'am!" Samantha said.

"THIS time I'm going to marry the RIGHT dinosaur!" the Computer Dinosaur
said proudly as he smiled at Dree-'el.

"I couldn't agree more!"  Dree-'el said with a smile.

We all spent the rest of the afternoon walking in the woods and finalizing
the wedding plans.  The Gila Monster was slightly upset that the caterers
would not be serving ants, but other than that, everyone seemed to be
happy with the arrangements.  Well, almost everyone, all except two certain
pterodactyles who have been smitten by the 'green eyed monster' known
as jealousy.  It's a very strange emotion, perhaps I'll need more research
to understand it fully.
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